excuse note one million

i've disposed of prose in the same fashion
as pretty floor panties.
with my feet, to the side
before you got a chance to look at what
you missed out on

horse revue

don't ever get the veggie burger. they use restaurant depot veggie burgers.
what else would I get there?
get the grazing plate...but you gotta like your shit burnt cause they burn all your shit. which is fine, cause like, you gotta burn the fuck out of a brussels sprout before I put it near my fucking mouth. so yeah, I guess i'll pay fourteen fucking dollars for some burnt ass brussels sprouts and eggplant and fucking asparagus.

vessels in my vessel
beveled like a shovel
an over the holder holder holer
bustling shoulders over boulders

oh d oh r or for alex

she tolerates

the face of my last love

i ask her to wear

but i can only just

see thoughts 

of him through

borrowed eyelids

feel free to
roll around
or any
verb preposition
, really

piggies

funky limelight
going incognito
here today, aragon tomorrow
just groovy

making muffins again

harry nilsson and i

wear our bathrobes like crowns

and wonder on the wanderlust

of lesser lovers

this is just like that time i went lipstick shopping in sunglasses

ode to the freckles of my fancy

here we go again, sweet
chasing stags and studs on our carousel
until we dizzy and fall
into the blue eyed other's wonder again

touch me I'm a touchy coffee lady
keep the x out of espresso and we'll get off from the get go

hammock attack
the flaxen laxed
smoke rolls folded
summers back

a never nearer
peppermint contentment
testament to your estrogen
was effervescent or
opalescent in your
best next to kin

wanton wanting

all day digging
dig through above around
anywhere, really

get, go get it
until you find it

stop eht

ask me
the one in the sinflawer dress
who i wait for
when i walk slow
and i know
the answer
swishes between skirts

face wall my darling
turn my face wall
birds ate my face

familial googling

i have a dream speech
i hate you dad
i hate my teenage daughter
i hate my job

i'm asking

he was selling the skull on a sunday, july
'my friend had this 35 years ago
he died in somerville -
i brought the deer back to new hampshire'

'i'm thinking about it'
i told him - i let myself know too

empty eyed, a candleless holder
the wax was his antlers

it reminded me, an always kind of memory of
the thing you said,
something like
'i would have carried you on my back
to the end of the earth, if you asked'

'do you have any rope?'

hollis to somerville
on a bike older than myself
is a lot like the end of the earth

but i would bring myself,
and the thing
on my back
that i carried
was heavy like a leftover lover
and grieved like a casserole

but hung itself so nicely on my mantle
to be looked at and loved,
if only a memory

search and destroy

why is my eye twitching
why is my period late
why is my poop green
why is my hair falling out

how is this still

you were in my dream again
i made you shark cookies
but they fell apart, i left them
at my mothers house

the bus from my mothers
dropped me two houses down
where that kid toucher used to live

no one was there but you, leaning
on my scooter
in a plaid shirt, typical

i looked at the house
with all the things i had lost
and could only wonder how you are
you were good enough to not let me know

you kept turning into skater dan, and 
it  kept our conversation interesting

i'm happy having had followed
family circus zig zags, some srsly
fine wino ways, wayward wanderings
to your old money front door
emblazoned in basil

sweetie,

you lie
at the very end
of the difference between
running the gamut and
running the gauntlet

ink

the white peony reached up her leg,
exploding into the yellow orange joy
of her fair weathered fancy

pollination occurs when he takes
silver bees and needle branches
alabaster thigh/new to summer

of her most choking explosion
the peony, king of keeping spirit easy
squeezes into steps so to end them

if they didn't want me to put my phone up my pussy, they shouldn't make them vibrate

circles as small

she ran around
in circles as small
as the twirls of skirt
and a hurried pick to
flamingo by the neck

the last five shades of my big toe and the other four

sea the change?
it's not like in the movies
breathe life
thanks a wind million
i want to be a lone star

pern

gina ross itty bittie
generosity bit he

micro raps

i'm so waxed but he's still flaccid
i'm a basketcase that baskin in that acid

i.p.d

intellectual property damage

freyja's vignettes

at the place i blew snot bubbles
over over sized breakfast and i loved him once

i dropped a spoon today
it fell with and honest and confused clank

we texted you to see what it meant
and it meant you said that a child was coming
and i, a twist smile said oh no
it must be my birthday

that night she whisper
sang in my ear with a tender timbre
little teeny mouse boo such
a small spoon for tea

in the living room someone said ew
then someone and the first someone said ew
then someone else and the first two said ew
and who was i to not say ew. ew. yehhk.
no one.

chap book so soon

please please please please please please please please please please tell me where is this where do i go what do i do why am i here am i wasting time? who am i supposed to be supposed to see here or is it there. is it now is it then is it never when was i ever supposed to know where when i’ve never seen her i’ve never really looked but i’ve seen in my dreams such a scene where her hair scared me i walked i thumped i stumbled my legs sank into my socks and my socks sank into my shoes and my shoes stayed on my bedroom floor and my clothes were a compressed tunnel i never dared to enter or else my teeth would fall out of my head and my head would be caught grabbing at gums and i would let them lay like fake spaghetti in my lap my mouth agape i gave you everything i could or i would if you would will yourself to be anywhere at all i could see you please please please please please don’t leave me screaming here every night i’ve known

tambourine girl

i would tell you
about the songs i like that
i think you would like
on the podcasts i
listen to when
i sleep alone
but

first dance

i'm worried she will explode
like a gypsy wedding dress
with faulty wiring
and i'm the seamstress
in the corner
with the fire
extinguisher

this summer at water country

loony loogie luge lagoon 

oh honey

he feels guilty like a guillotine

about anything by any means

oh have you ever seen a scene

so mean by means of mentioning

smoking won't stop dreaming

in my dreams, we meet outside ice cream stores over a banjo
we talk about toilet seats until my cigarette (cigarette?) is ash

in life, friends say, guess who i saw in a serious voice
and i say your name and they say i've never met that schmuck
i'm talking about the schmuck that just left you

and i say how i haven't noticed this breakup
my heart is still slinged in summer popsicle sticks

in my dreams you suck the tits out of my toes
like a sticky sugar cone, and everything is normal, open even.

really?

jamba juice pajama jeans

marks the spot

nights are donated in the 

in between of your fingers

i have willed the angels, 

i don’t know how

they lose me in your cosmic vibrations

and pluck me through

the ho hum much ado

and into something

far more comfortable

crazy ass savage back slash more damage

she was always in love
she she never knew it she
it was more of a detour

If im the pane
And you, a delta
I would make sure to
Make etches all your brooks
To a delta drop
And hold you there

knuckle crest

pussy cat so big
is a hole area rug

oh goog

how to cut succulents for growing cuttings
how to delete facebook
how to download youtube videos
how to make french toast
how to last longer in bed

my mother is a soldier for vitality
she sees my grandfather takes his pills
does the laundry, rolls his toes

i get calls from her too:
"hi honey, just making sure
you haven't killed yourself.
hang in there."

my little brother is benign
and thoughtful enough to let her rest
wading through syringes and rubik's cubes alone

the first time she heard your name in fifty seven days
it was a porch of thirty blue stepped
she raced up to turn the shiny things she left
into the naturally neutral general

another other one

why did my
phone save you from
utter oblivion?

i never knew i
had a favorite section
save from in
the place you vacated

she opened her chest
and found things to be
exactly as they were
just dustier

before the xanax kicks in

you should know i always never loved
i always, always love but then i would
always want the never either or never want
the always and forever meant i could never
say always just only just but rather
an always always forever everyone
fucking crying loving the endless always
in a big white room we all fall asleep

excuses excuses

rhymes on audio, follow?

pretty pretty

i love your smile to death
the fact it's attached
so such a tits ass though?

do i look like alice cooper?

always the
screaming down the street moto's
keeping me from tha
lesbian threes fours?
fuck.

but never a measure of love

the space between the things that matter second most is the most important thing

bad habits, smitty

my ties lie in residing in
that lovely black ink of-
thinking of ways i can ask
who has the lock to your key?
and all that. but i strike lively
eyes with the he that refills, drinks

so he lifted me up

so he lifted me up
from the barstool, smelling
armpit hairs to see
of being a really real woman

robert hunter

was gratefully dead

water dragon wasn't

a mother saying things like
shes
in heaven now
in a text

ink

the tattoo ink kept her up at night
with their unrelenting online presence

figuring she didn't mind, the tattoo ink
lounged in her desk chair, stumbling onto
girls of infinite beauty and problemantics

kd

Killdust

i kissed his helmet
when he didn't know i knew
are the affections measured in heaven

similar interests

they never talk
but their desk drawers
have numbers on graph paper,
lighters with wolves
and they listen to
the director laughing
in their ears at night

101

let's get digital
again ohes and wons
again binary or
something unique

it's a duet

so solo a solo

fruit batd

you're too weird

everyone.

everyone won
the puppy bowl

oh so nice to see you

<p>the greasy two ay em deals<br>
shake my hands into white
it is nice enough to match my bedding

i'll retire. i was feeling sick anyway.

i will, i will

laura sat at a table. it was a circle. leo, too, had a round face, blank and eager and pure and after she dipped her bread in red wine he knew and leaned over. listen, he said, if i told you we would have children, and we will, and they have children, and they wlil, and the grandson on your birthday and his kisses a sepia face, a third eye, and the contact was like a dream that germinated flowers erupting in the living room we shared for fifty years, would you love me now? will you believe?

long rectangles

i love you. the back of your earlobes are furry like kissing eyelashes. and smirks feed shooting stars for weeks.

the tempo of hip bones have chosen send vibrations through linoleum where roots once thought to grow.

i love you like i love the city's seasons, with tender necessitation. hibernation backed with free back shrieking, walks behind sultry mosquito bites and the motley turn.

for your affection, i alchemy my my's and we's and your's into fine diamonds and precious alloy tourniquets, i find ribbons in thin airs and daisy chain your hair with silver well wishes.

do you have any

i can moisturize
you can moisturize
we can all
make our bodies
suck up nine
dollar bottles

sdsb

stranger / delayed
strange / betrayal

you ask me

how the weather is here.
and i cannot say from
my electric blanket
where we both would
be nice and terrible
and i know
that's what you're
getting at

he held her head in his hands
91, i had her arm
age had clawed fingers into
soft little fists
that didn't know
why they were

drives lay blithed
sinused, knived

A LONG GREY NOTHING HUGGING

should i skip
today
it would be an
injustice
to the
skin and ribbon feeling shaking
between the between my fingers
it would slip through
the net of memory

for the sake of ecstasy
back rubbed sharpie tat
i cannot allow

the low round ho hum you master

when i read
rommel drives on deep into egypt
it is your voice reading it

the low round ho hum you master
makes braudigan sparkle
and i understand -

- this is the only way
to share sun rises
and bus rides
now

correctly whelmed

did you hear it?
i am almost certain
when she slid
her round pink ten
to a tight white sheet
no sighs overwhelmed
a quiet cotton crinkle

inclusive recluse
what's the use
subdued confusion
is the noose

shake and shake

my best intentions
are a rope on the floor

i shake and shake
self-similar smaller
smaller dreams

until the body
smooths still

ma lisc 365 her

there is something to be said
for one hundred hour miles
well alive in a metal beaming
older than i am

ze mistress h8z gender pronouns

makes eyes out of not eyes
can balance tears on tongue tips
and is almost prepared for
ex why ze

every other heads turning

if you wonder
if i wonder
if i still think about -
i still think about.

a bout of think of

every breath is you
breathing every other
every other heads -
turning turned.

ringing in

it's all about maintenance
the three thousand dollar three piece said
hard drugs don't scare me
hard drugs, should be scared of me

the only downside to hard drugs
is that they age you
prematurely

his haircut belonged in a museum
next to titans page boy
and if you touched it
your follicles tickled


***

dj wet dick


***

i went to bed
wearing only my
glow stick
and dreamed of
flash light disturbs

**

he danced with
a statue owl face
took mint nips back
six by six and snarled
shayna get me a beer

he punched dj wet dick
in the wet balls
and screamed
WHY AREN'T YOU ON TWITTER
throwing his phone
led to smashing his phone
his boots stomped,
triggered a seizure
and moved on

***

is it a siezure?
no no he's just in a panic
five good stragglers pinned him
in caresses and easy breathing

a delicate boy, james has always
taken milwaukee's finest to heart.

i straddled his head
my arms like a basketball hoop
and his body not body
punched my mouth
through my tongue

my mouth filled with blood
but i kept it shut
smelling only things
redolent of rough sex

the man with a million dollar haircut
slipped a xanax into my hand
and called it baby asprin
i put it under his tongue
with deliberation reserved for
returning temple relics

dj wet dick burned
sandalwood in the kitchen
and we licked our scrapes
wiped off drool
returned to the ebb

while i couch coddled,
they slept in my queen
like babies
but none as soundly
as the head on my lap

kerrush

i am waiting

to hear

the earth rumble -


it will start

from nothing


so first,

i need


to hear


nothing

christmas dreams

i let a girl borrow my tights. they were the lace flesh colored ones that, if i wear alone, make me look like i have a flesh eating virus. there was blood filling the crotch like a horror movie. i tried to find her new clothes, along with myself. she was skinny and blonde and perfect and would have been better without a person like me lending her tights.

some guy and i were hitting it off down the street from my house. suddenly katya and rob were there. one of the guys girl friends was quizzing me about myself to see if i was good enough to know him. rob and katya were just standing there and watching. rob stepped forward after the girl was done quizzing me and said "i updated my blog and i want you to read it but i'm sad and i'm leaving now" he looked impossibly sad.

i was on my houses patio, eating a messy tuna sandwich.

the website for rob's "blog" was hard to navigate, but i eventually found a button that said "what's new with rob?" the button had a man in a lobster in a tuxedo costume, with his lobstery back facing me. the website was confusing and making me anxious, so i tried going home. i called my little brother and he was pissy and said he was at the house and i was going the wrong way. my lack of direction panic kicked in and i just started running through the neighborhood. an old man gave me directions and called me "hun". i got to the house and no one was there.

i'm done having these kind of nightmares. time to start sleeping a little bit better

shitty freewrite

the first people of
a not never new world
shimmered, copper glean
in the naked sun

the not but thought
they were new men
stood toe to toe
with the shiny always

look, said the shiny always
i know you are
going to fuck us over

our kind fingers
beaded and stitched
and roped and loved
and we feel the sunset
we are not afraid
we are not sorry

their way will die
and with it the
holy communion of
sun and man

but we put your head
on the money, honey
and the wheat stalks
looked like laurels.
so who is
the winner now?

9911 pt1

you were the girl, yes i
can see your white dress now
full of red was your mouth
and your eyes were wet and wide
swaying forth, weeping willows
and i loved you then and i
would have carried you on my back
to the end of this world if
the end of this world was
before ruin

you had no need, shiny little one
all smiles of blood and strong sinus
walking through wooden pew circles
like daddy please and blistering pree
not on knees but standing at peace

imagined letters have my mantra

hello?

so i have nothing
do do with
one way mirrors

but i know the
installers and
there's nothing
to fear

here -
i hope
my audience
knows that

i could
be talking
to air

'n pee are

i'm ready.
prepared -
occupy my
bed

to the tune of
automobile chats
that usa existence
transistor ham laboratory
new oxygen
atop sharp
north american tundra house friend

friend,
for the companionship,
thanks.

i whisper into the radio-
you have such a fucking hot body
i grab his antennas and get to work

sig(h)j

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

give me

i have five minutes
to write something profound
and that's a lot
like life
y'know?

asses on edges

it's time for my first poem in this notebook.
it will be a morning poem, because it is morning.
see! so bright and frresh! i can almost smell mint!

i wake up with bob dylan in my body and my legs spread wide.
permissive starfishing. independent seduction.
when my wheels turn i think of my stockings.
they are old old, seamed in the back, a perfect tan.

i put them on with great intent
after you rub lotion on my feet and legs

i wear my dress that looks like a hospital gown
and my prozac bathrobe and it's your birthday
and you ask to eat me out in my living room
and i say that's fine, sure

i'm fresh and wet and smooth and need feel
i am hungry you are hungry
heads are leaned back, asses are on edges
these moments are mine and in them i am less broken

jesus fuck

a god damn martyr
saving somervillian panic
from boys exercising only that

i dress them in bathrobes
shuffle them through hallways
they are half drunk and half asleep
arms hanging/limp and saved

i convince them of almost truths
involving sacks of shit
and flush toilets like peter denies christ
(three times, blood and cock)

they sleep like angels
i rest like my mother

v no vino

sweet black head
is too full darling
bird bones crush
so easy hollow
the felted hush

d vul

she pointed to the devil card and asked
whose robert? i'm glad he's gone
why is he so sad? does he do drugs?

i say he should and she reads them/me
we all care about someone too much in this life
it happens once. it won't happen again.

mundane hate

the last time that

panic hit this bad

i squeezed my eyes

until my face sprayed

angry little red freckles

capillaries liberated

and yes it was squeamish

to see but also cute

like instead of sun kissed

- life and times bent down to

smack me a wet one

and the last time

i drank so at druids

i wrote horrible great poems

and laughed and screamed on

a two wheel motor

playing in the rain until i was

face down, wet roaded

but today

a tiny puffy eye

and sloppy trivia games

leave me feeling

unexceptional

mundanely dramatic

and needing more

well that's nice

a darling birthday

of squeezed oranges

pomegranate spray

floating sunflowers

is altogether wholesome

but your present

is what you give

to me instead

on my side

and we'd be excused

but there are no

sorries

here

oh god

how sweet to see

they are wanted

pleased teeth

graze heels

like cattle

and tongues

part toes

like they

still give

prizes

in life boxes

AY. CHINASKI.

HEY BUKS

YOU JUST REMIND ME

OF EVERY ASSHOLE

AND I LIKE YOU

BUT I'M LEAVING

YOUR STOMPING GROUNDS

always goanna feel

the oldest I’ve ever been

the mother goose graves

had em all aged around

twenty four