i’m not sure our realities allow for this love to come to fruition.

you try to wake me up but
i’m talking through my dreams
bout love with uppercuts, struts
and tea that flows in streams

i’m talking through my dreams
sorting out abstracted feelings
and tea that flows in streams
to reconcile the morning

sorting out abstracted feelings
in complex situations
to reconcile the morning
has concrete connotations

in complex situations
it’s better to keep dreaming
has concrete connotations
if you follow dreamy feelings

it’s better to keep dreaming
when we have this conversation
if you follow dreamy feelings
subconscious love is liberation

saves the day saves the day

i can shake down my troubles now
into the grooves of floorboards how
they try to pry up my toes once alighted
of shoulders the bad vibes can smolder around

i flipped them out of my body, now scout
for the remnants of rubbish, around and about
on the ground and then pound them out the damn door
they will flounder and ask themselves why and wherefore

404: love not found

later, you will look back and cringe
at our pithy attempts of intimacy

knowing the future finds a car, computer
to have you gripping your seat in full swoon

Making A Great Nursing Environment Together

my father, the metal man
with millions of prickly particles
sometimes in every direction
ambivalent, unsure
sometimes in magnetic fields
he draws toward, assures

today a different magnet stirs
i'm pushed away for unknown days
no suitcase, just me
in my clothes, dirty
from worky
my ass thrown in class

hands shake, directionless
wanting the elements
to turn around and
dry, realign
my horseshoe head

phonicks, don't phail me now

i misspell a lot of words
i mean, alot

did you know
unrequieted love
is saying quit
and not quiet?
quit, not quiet
lesson learned!

and tommorrow
is shorter than I thought
every single one i have

pipe eulogy: bowlympia

My dear bowlympia --

you spoke to me before you smoked for me. this little head shop in olympia, place of your conception. I looked for twenty minutes, and nothing. so I listened - I stopped looking - and I heard you. you were perfectly made, shaped, and priced. cobalt glass with green and gold stripes. with specks of real gold. but nothing gold can stay.

my brother made this, said the head shop owner when he picked you up. youre kidding! I said. you were such a labor of love, and i loved you. you didn't even need a screen.

I'm sorry I left you at that party last night. I didn't mean to. it had nothing to do with that other glass I was carrying with me. it was just a one hit thing, it doesn't mean anything to me. I don't even know its name.

bowlympia, I'm truly sorry. when I took you out today, picked you up from that coffee table, and said to you, and to ryan, 'oh bowlympia I'll be so said if and when I lose you. dont you hate that? how everythings ephemeral?' these are the daily conversations I have that jynx me. I'm so sorry, I didn't even know it was a curse.

you met your demise on the fucking stairs of the campus center, you just leaped out of my bag, like a dog running into the street, not knowing how those linoleum stairs can hit you like a semi. You, perfect in every way and a precious treasure I brought back from the west coast, getting killed by my messy purse and the weed-unfriendly campus that you graced with your presence.

this is a wake up call. I need to straighten up and leave this place. thank you for having your final act be one that opened my eyes. thank you for everything. especially the resin.

I'ma see you in weed heaven.

deer in headlights is a good look for me

smoke going up
darkens the ceiling
I have a feeling
that we're both alone

wash out my head
let me forget
the words I said
respond, regret

I traded love
for lack thereof

to show that I know
that I should
be alone

I would grow
to my toes
all my hair
and not care

fyi

once there wasn’t
now there is.
first I didn’t
and now I am.
when there won’t be
where there once was;
once the sun goes,
you and me
won’t be.