loyal like dogs lying down

hold st(ill/eady)

I learned to see the love in you
to want to walk in wanton ways
like you, give idle devils credit
glean still meaning in our days

litchenberg figure sketch

your lightning scars loved me for a minute, then were gone

like water in a tattoo gun
like her favorite songs
like raccoons through wet rubbish
losing my earring at your wake

were you ever mine, my lightning?
did you feel my body as you went through?

unlike unlike unlike

do they use her legs like rabbit ears?
drunk queen of the dial
what is it you fear?

(oh, just, here, come here, and i will show

you what it means to kill the thing you love

and return through the cruelest months

carrying his head through the end of the

earth on your silvered back. hands scratched

from the fight, skin sloughed raw. but feet a 

toughed smooth, the color of clay. oh, do i

have to take your hand and show you what 

it means to look at the lion looking at you?

look back, look back like the good books'

harlot and be the pillar of salt so sifted through

winds. forget, forget or make fated bridges of 

crippled birds. remember to forget, or never 

forget to remember to pretend to forget, and

one day will come when you will. (and you will))

what it is you fear

is gleaned wet cheeks, smile

when he uses your legs like rabbit ears

do not ask me
to marry
dead leaves
to live ivy

I don't mind that my room mates have much hair. I tug at the backed drain like a fly fisher. invisible DNA whispers into the creased curves of fingertips. I feel the weight, I pull. release. please give me the things too tiny for my nails. I beg for feeling bigness, anything but the way I've been

the shoes of your monument
were fa(s)t like a fisted gold
i threw on my cigarette
and clapped like a marigold

did i stutter
when i said
i'm sorry

did i falter
when i fell

who's there?

thank you times question mark?

when we made it
it sounded a lot like
there were big bands
rolling by
followed by
good ambulances
and i could have cried
for the times
i made it before
or thought i did
and cars that sound like
a crash into
parked fires

another other other

you had your back facing me
it was in an office with a policeman
you were typing at a typewriter, at a desk.

i met my girlfriend at the drugstore
we picked out different moisturizers.
they had deer themed hand sanitizers.
i just touched a jelly and everything would be clean.

i ran through the building that turned into a theater.
climbing staged rope ladders, the show was falling apart.

so i went to your room again.
you were just sitting there.
and suggested we get dinner.

i inquired to the wrath skellar
and we both agreed.

questions i ask my bird, questions i ask myself 2

why do you eat your own shit right off the keyboard?

missed c.

carry me under your arm
carry me anywhere
tell me all the things
you want to do

stop not smoking before bed

i buy a record, bring it home, put it on. it has your songs on it, but someone else singing. through some unholy miracle i find you, or you are there. i play it for you and i wonder who came first, who's the fraud. we make jokes about it.

the ice cream store is the biggest scene, it's the size of a cafeteria, and the whole time it's exchanges like, I thought you had baby sized, small medium and large; if we have had that, we don't have it anymore. they put blueberries the size of plums in my cup, i was only asking for cookie dough and oreos. I asked to see the manager and they said they have never seen them. i wonder where my girlfriend is, she makes things better, she works here, but not tonight. we sit in a big group of people, on opposite sides.

we walked out of the ice cream store, our hands touched. i locked your finger with my finger, i took another finger, rubbed it back and forth in your palm, a common gesture to me, one friends give each other to let each other know, i'm here for you, everything will be okay.

you grab my wrist and take me from the crowd, you find a porch to sit on, and throw us on there and say:

this is why i will (n)ever love you:

i ask you to clarify, but you smile and move on:


oh seven grain, you think you are so great, you have seven whole grains?
you make sandwiches called monkey wrenches all day
you complain about ice cream, and the smallest things,
when you are the smallest thing.
why do you have records with my words on it,
from other people?

and on and on, most of it nonsense, all of it nonsense, but with each word i miss a vertebra, my body goes limp, my mouth gets dumb, i have nothing to say, he's right he's right and I'm sorry, sorry sorry.

i wake up, naked and  turning in my white sheets, toes curled into the comforter, which is poorly named. i rub my hands across my stomach and chest, and tell myself to stop dreaming of you. 

rolling? stoned?, or, get over it sheila

so sue me
you stuck, luck has it
me, in a rut
to rot, by chance
in a rolling log
that gathers
the moss
of memories

i'm moving
but not on
though i know
there is no
trophy
in atrophy

so let me
stick
my thumb in
the plum pudding
the freshness
of best new breasts
heaving to
a whole new
breatheee

(at least) one lie before sunrise

i have certainly not found you
in the four aye ehm croissant boxes
before the sun comes
to remind playground slides
of shinier times

but these hours i own now
and i wouldn't have wanted you there anyways

on tongue piercing class

i can no longer justify
talking this dumb
for educational
purposes

questions I ask my bird, questions I ask myself

did you poop everywhere because you're scared?
or are you scared because you poop everywhere?

baby hitler tamagotchi weed

sleep, sleep,
I've never seen
the thoughts you think
worth mentioning

fall, fall
I never knew
the dreams that live
inside of you

sick #57257

did i not notice my stutter because i was lovestruck or did it become from love sickness

a cock crow, a cockroach

it was another porch night
one out of one hundred fair weather
cheap beer evenings, she
touched her whole leg with my whole leg, hammocked
and we met on both ends when

your breasts were out and
the tattoo ink dripped down your back
with faces staying immaculate you said
he wrote a new song, do you want to hear it?

i did, i do, i said, i gave
a pause like butter softening
just not in front of you guys
not when i've been drinking

excuse note one million

i've disposed of prose in the same fashion
as pretty floor panties.
with my feet, to the side
before you got a chance to look at what
you missed out on

horse revue

don't ever get the veggie burger. they use restaurant depot veggie burgers.
what else would I get there?
get the grazing plate...but you gotta like your shit burnt cause they burn all your shit. which is fine, cause like, you gotta burn the fuck out of a brussels sprout before I put it near my fucking mouth. so yeah, I guess i'll pay fourteen fucking dollars for some burnt ass brussels sprouts and eggplant and fucking asparagus.

vessels in my vessel
beveled like a shovel
an over the holder holder holer
bustling shoulders over boulders

oh d oh r or for alex

she tolerates

the face of my last love

i ask her to wear

but i can only just

see thoughts 

of him through

borrowed eyelids

feel free to
roll around
or any
verb preposition
, really

piggies

funky limelight
going incognito
here today, aragon tomorrow
just groovy

making muffins again

harry nilsson and i

wear our bathrobes like crowns

and wonder on the wanderlust

of lesser lovers

this is just like that time i went lipstick shopping in sunglasses

ode to the freckles of my fancy

here we go again, sweet
chasing stags and studs on our carousel
until we dizzy and fall
into the blue eyed other's wonder again

touch me I'm a touchy coffee lady
keep the x out of espresso and we'll get off from the get go

hammock attack
the flaxen laxed
smoke rolls folded
summers back

a never nearer
peppermint contentment
testament to your estrogen
was effervescent or
opalescent in your
best next to kin

wanton wanting

all day digging
dig through above around
anywhere, really

get, go get it
until you find it

stop eht

ask me
the one in the sinflawer dress
who i wait for
when i walk slow
and i know
the answer
swishes between skirts

face wall my darling
turn my face wall
birds ate my face

familial googling

i have a dream speech
i hate you dad
i hate my teenage daughter
i hate my job

i'm asking

he was selling the skull on a sunday, july
'my friend had this 35 years ago
he died in somerville -
i brought the deer back to new hampshire'

'i'm thinking about it'
i told him - i let myself know too

empty eyed, a candleless holder
the wax was his antlers

it reminded me, an always kind of memory of
the thing you said,
something like
'i would have carried you on my back
to the end of the earth, if you asked'

'do you have any rope?'

hollis to somerville
on a bike older than myself
is a lot like the end of the earth

but i would bring myself,
and the thing
on my back
that i carried
was heavy like a leftover lover
and grieved like a casserole

but hung itself so nicely on my mantle
to be looked at and loved,
if only a memory

search and destroy

why is my eye twitching
why is my period late
why is my poop green
why is my hair falling out

how is this still

you were in my dream again
i made you shark cookies
but they fell apart, i left them
at my mothers house

the bus from my mothers
dropped me two houses down
where that kid toucher used to live

no one was there but you, leaning
on my scooter
in a plaid shirt, typical

i looked at the house
with all the things i had lost
and could only wonder how you are
you were good enough to not let me know

you kept turning into skater dan, and 
it  kept our conversation interesting

i'm happy having had followed
family circus zig zags, some srsly
fine wino ways, wayward wanderings
to your old money front door
emblazoned in basil

sweetie,

you lie
at the very end
of the difference between
running the gamut and
running the gauntlet

ink

the white peony reached up her leg,
exploding into the yellow orange joy
of her fair weathered fancy

pollination occurs when he takes
silver bees and needle branches
alabaster thigh/new to summer

of her most choking explosion
the peony, king of keeping spirit easy
squeezes into steps so to end them

if they didn't want me to put my phone up my pussy, they shouldn't make them vibrate

circles as small

she ran around
in circles as small
as the twirls of skirt
and a hurried pick to
flamingo by the neck

the last five shades of my big toe and the other four

sea the change?
it's not like in the movies
breathe life
thanks a wind million
i want to be a lone star

pern

gina ross itty bittie
generosity bit he

micro raps

i'm so waxed but he's still flaccid
i'm a basketcase that baskin in that acid

i.p.d

intellectual property damage

freyja's vignettes

at the place i blew snot bubbles
over over sized breakfast and i loved him once

i dropped a spoon today
it fell with and honest and confused clank

we texted you to see what it meant
and it meant you said that a child was coming
and i, a twist smile said oh no
it must be my birthday

that night she whisper
sang in my ear with a tender timbre
little teeny mouse boo such
a small spoon for tea

in the living room someone said ew
then someone and the first someone said ew
then someone else and the first two said ew
and who was i to not say ew. ew. yehhk.
no one.

chap book so soon

please please please please please please please please please please tell me where is this where do i go what do i do why am i here am i wasting time? who am i supposed to be supposed to see here or is it there. is it now is it then is it never when was i ever supposed to know where when i’ve never seen her i’ve never really looked but i’ve seen in my dreams such a scene where her hair scared me i walked i thumped i stumbled my legs sank into my socks and my socks sank into my shoes and my shoes stayed on my bedroom floor and my clothes were a compressed tunnel i never dared to enter or else my teeth would fall out of my head and my head would be caught grabbing at gums and i would let them lay like fake spaghetti in my lap my mouth agape i gave you everything i could or i would if you would will yourself to be anywhere at all i could see you please please please please please don’t leave me screaming here every night i’ve known

tambourine girl

i would tell you
about the songs i like that
i think you would like
on the podcasts i
listen to when
i sleep alone
but

first dance

i'm worried she will explode
like a gypsy wedding dress
with faulty wiring
and i'm the seamstress
in the corner
with the fire
extinguisher

this summer at water country

loony loogie luge lagoon 

oh honey

he feels guilty like a guillotine

about anything by any means

oh have you ever seen a scene

so mean by means of mentioning

smoking won't stop dreaming

in my dreams, we meet outside ice cream stores over a banjo
we talk about toilet seats until my cigarette (cigarette?) is ash

in life, friends say, guess who i saw in a serious voice
and i say your name and they say i've never met that schmuck
i'm talking about the schmuck that just left you

and i say how i haven't noticed this breakup
my heart is still slinged in summer popsicle sticks

in my dreams you suck the tits out of my toes
like a sticky sugar cone, and everything is normal, open even.

really?

jamba juice pajama jeans

marks the spot

nights are donated in the 

in between of your fingers

i have willed the angels, 

i don’t know how

they lose me in your cosmic vibrations

and pluck me through

the ho hum much ado

and into something

far more comfortable

crazy ass savage back slash more damage

she was always in love
she she never knew it she
it was more of a detour

If im the pane
And you, a delta
I would make sure to
Make etches all your brooks
To a delta drop
And hold you there

knuckle crest

pussy cat so big
is a hole area rug

oh goog

how to cut succulents for growing cuttings
how to delete facebook
how to download youtube videos
how to make french toast
how to last longer in bed

my mother is a soldier for vitality
she sees my grandfather takes his pills
does the laundry, rolls his toes

i get calls from her too:
"hi honey, just making sure
you haven't killed yourself.
hang in there."

my little brother is benign
and thoughtful enough to let her rest
wading through syringes and rubik's cubes alone

the first time she heard your name in fifty seven days
it was a porch of thirty blue stepped
she raced up to turn the shiny things she left
into the naturally neutral general

another other one

why did my
phone save you from
utter oblivion?

i never knew i
had a favorite section
save from in
the place you vacated

she opened her chest
and found things to be
exactly as they were
just dustier

before the xanax kicks in

you should know i always never loved
i always, always love but then i would
always want the never either or never want
the always and forever meant i could never
say always just only just but rather
an always always forever everyone
fucking crying loving the endless always
in a big white room we all fall asleep

excuses excuses

rhymes on audio, follow?

pretty pretty

i love your smile to death
the fact it's attached
so such a tits ass though?

do i look like alice cooper?

always the
screaming down the street moto's
keeping me from tha
lesbian threes fours?
fuck.

but never a measure of love

the space between the things that matter second most is the most important thing

bad habits, smitty

my ties lie in residing in
that lovely black ink of-
thinking of ways i can ask
who has the lock to your key?
and all that. but i strike lively
eyes with the he that refills, drinks

so he lifted me up

so he lifted me up
from the barstool, smelling
armpit hairs to see
of being a really real woman

robert hunter

was gratefully dead

water dragon wasn't

a mother saying things like
shes
in heaven now
in a text

ink

the tattoo ink kept her up at night
with their unrelenting online presence

figuring she didn't mind, the tattoo ink
lounged in her desk chair, stumbling onto
girls of infinite beauty and problemantics

kd

Killdust

i kissed his helmet
when he didn't know i knew
are the affections measured in heaven

similar interests

they never talk
but their desk drawers
have numbers on graph paper,
lighters with wolves
and they listen to
the director laughing
in their ears at night

101

let's get digital
again ohes and wons
again binary or
something unique

it's a duet

so solo a solo

fruit batd

you're too weird

everyone.

everyone won
the puppy bowl

oh so nice to see you

<p>the greasy two ay em deals<br>
shake my hands into white
it is nice enough to match my bedding

i'll retire. i was feeling sick anyway.

i will, i will

laura sat at a table. it was a circle. leo, too, had a round face, blank and eager and pure and after she dipped her bread in red wine he knew and leaned over. listen, he said, if i told you we would have children, and we will, and they have children, and they wlil, and the grandson on your birthday and his kisses a sepia face, a third eye, and the contact was like a dream that germinated flowers erupting in the living room we shared for fifty years, would you love me now? will you believe?

long rectangles

i love you. the back of your earlobes are furry like kissing eyelashes. and smirks feed shooting stars for weeks.

the tempo of hip bones have chosen send vibrations through linoleum where roots once thought to grow.

i love you like i love the city's seasons, with tender necessitation. hibernation backed with free back shrieking, walks behind sultry mosquito bites and the motley turn.

for your affection, i alchemy my my's and we's and your's into fine diamonds and precious alloy tourniquets, i find ribbons in thin airs and daisy chain your hair with silver well wishes.

do you have any

i can moisturize
you can moisturize
we can all
make our bodies
suck up nine
dollar bottles

sdsb

stranger / delayed
strange / betrayal

you ask me

how the weather is here.
and i cannot say from
my electric blanket
where we both would
be nice and terrible
and i know
that's what you're
getting at

he held her head in his hands
91, i had her arm
age had clawed fingers into
soft little fists
that didn't know
why they were

drives lay blithed
sinused, knived

A LONG GREY NOTHING HUGGING

should i skip
today
it would be an
injustice
to the
skin and ribbon feeling shaking
between the between my fingers
it would slip through
the net of memory

for the sake of ecstasy
back rubbed sharpie tat
i cannot allow

the low round ho hum you master

when i read
rommel drives on deep into egypt
it is your voice reading it

the low round ho hum you master
makes braudigan sparkle
and i understand -

- this is the only way
to share sun rises
and bus rides
now

correctly whelmed

did you hear it?
i am almost certain
when she slid
her round pink ten
to a tight white sheet
no sighs overwhelmed
a quiet cotton crinkle

inclusive recluse
what's the use
subdued confusion
is the noose

shake and shake

my best intentions
are a rope on the floor

i shake and shake
self-similar smaller
smaller dreams

until the body
smooths still

ma lisc 365 her

there is something to be said
for one hundred hour miles
well alive in a metal beaming
older than i am

ze mistress h8z gender pronouns

makes eyes out of not eyes
can balance tears on tongue tips
and is almost prepared for
ex why ze

every other heads turning

if you wonder
if i wonder
if i still think about -
i still think about.

a bout of think of

every breath is you
breathing every other
every other heads -
turning turned.