i never got to test drive my motor scooter
and that, a man with a lotus on his neck
well, he died. and i wanted to ride his memory
but the day it came i was not happy.
I MADE A MISTAKE. I DO NOT KNOW
HOW TO RIDE SCOOTERS.
I HAVE NEVER KNOWN THIS
TO BE TRUE ABOUT MYSELF.
I WILL SHAKE AND SHAKE
AND CRASH AND CRASH
AND DIE AND DIE
the thing i so badly wanted will
be my folly and i will crash and burn
like the lotus man. like everyone else.
that, my sweet child, was the summer
where i discovered if you want something,
it is best to try and get it. you can stretch
out the dangerous what-ifs into a blanket
and roll yourself up in an air conditioned room
where everything is nice. familiar. a comfort.
but you will never fall in love with the wind in your hair.
screaming at the black yellow curves:
I HAVE LOVED YOU
AND I WILL LOVE
WHO YOU HAVE MADE ME.
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