best left unseen

your screen saver is randomly generated security cameras. and you have a big screen, so it’s hard to ignore. you say sitting in your bed seeing into a tiny worldwide window is better than none at all. i’d drive myself crazy seeing where i’m not. already in my minds eye see the house party in allston, the dance party in cambridge, the state college thespians at a tone deaf bar, and your moustache quivering down a somervillian sink. i see the places i won’t go tonight, although the details come in the morning with the sports scores. already i see where i could have gone without effort, but what if i tried tonight? what if i wasn’t so damn casual with everything. i doodle with the paintbrush he handed me. what if my weekends were exquisitely composed? friday nights an italian sonnet, french wine, german opera. what if my security camera captured my evenings. wouldn’t be happier. leggings itch, bathrobes don’t. the days ahead are long and numbered, and will not be measured by tagged pictures.