when you get blown off at zine fest
because of their depression
and you leave early
because of your anxiety

you wonder if making all those zines helped
or even helped you understand
not to date depressed people.

they hurt you and they don't want to
but it hurts anyway.

i will only be dating rainbow chasers
and go getters from now on.
unless, no.

11/7/11 draft

that college boy?

the son? of a preacher man?

i told him to turn around in his tracks

and hour late and no texts

(no texts!)

surely grounds for dismissal

i wished so badly you could see

objective, cold, dismissing

same old me

if only for frame of reference

that how crazy i am over you

and you alone, is, 

in a word, exceptional

stern resolutions, draft from august 2011

i will only talk to friends that say

HEY. FORGET THAT ASSHOLE. (easy)

i will only rent movies that will in no way

remind me of aforementioned asshole.

(see: latin american, surreal)

i will watch these movies by myself

and i will be happy.

i will keep my head down, to ensure

i never see anyone doing a great job

or guaranteeing looks of any sort

don't cry over everything

i know, everything reminds you of...

just. just shut the fuck up.

forget kissing. you never liked it.

you always hated it. it's gross.

don't remember how much you hated it?

stop listening to the mix you made

do not text him.

cryptically tweet about nothing.

these are the ammonias that will cleanse

your soul of these god awful

"feelings"

you have accumulated.

your absence hits me

like one thousand
humming birds
outside my window
in the quiet moments
of the morning

looking up and out
i fill with doubt
that there is anything in
the space under wings

lilly of the valley of death to false metal
weaving in and out of meadows
and by medows i mean the abbey
or was it an alley
or was there a difference
of where i wander and why
tolkien was a lying bag of dicks
every sack of shit is lost

breathing on her apple
and bringing it
inside her sweater to polish
hunched over
like an elephant drinking water
if an elephant was a slender
blonde crystal fucker
but still felt the same

spring is when restless sets in
makes me think I've never been
in love
shes always moving
always talking always
fidgeting
waiting rooms moving closer to
a tomb status
I have less/enough room
to move but
inch by inch
I move to you and
wonder when you
wake up too

have you seen him?
his greatest trick
is never moving
only me

high opera happens
when I have to ask
to have you back
to filled my space
where there is lack

poems made entirely of nail polish colors

it's a thrill in brazil
die another day
big apple red
girls
just want
to play

form into a format
a compatible one, please
i loaded my downs
and upped my load

i just think it's
as easy as doing
your taxes online
within minutes you

will have
plans
to
hang out